Y DISCLAIMERS .
If you do not feel like reading
Just click the "x"
on the top right hand corner of your page
Y PROFILE .
Mr Pengz
You can vist
pengz09.blogspot.com
for more details
Y WISHLIST .
I only want people to enjoy reading it
though i'm just an amateur
or so called "Rojak" writer
wish to improve myself
Y SYNCHRONY .
Soon to input song
Y FOOTPRINTS .
Y ARCHIVES .
Y LOVE .
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
What can i do now
except to see her happy
she should be happier now
this is all i could give,
my blessing
I live day by day
Suppress all the feeling deep inside
only to stop myself from the pain inside
Have i done it well
i always asked myself
am i showing too much?
I think not
Is it time to go?
Have you wonder sometimes is it time to give up?
better then waiting for something that will never happened?
My forbbiden love...
有没有想过以后
我们的结局已订了
是否该放手
还是等下去
我的痛还能比谁来的痛
我的爱~
以不回来
我的痛, 你是不明白
我的泪, 像那片大海
我的心, 痛的蹿不过来
我的伤, 你可还明白
会不会, 回到重来
我的爱 一再不回来
只能说, 拜拜my love
(copy righted by Pengz)
Lyrics i have written for you
the meaning of my love and the pain I'm suffering
...To be continued Part 4
on 2:06 PM
I didn't knew what am i feeling till the feeling gets stronger
and yearning to see her, to contact her gets stronger
day by day, i seems to lost all my focus on important things
all i can think about is nothing but her.
Finally, we planned to meet up
Remember it was somewhere during my prelimary exams
The next day i am having English prelim yet i spend my whole night till morning 6am with her
doing nothing but chatting away
I do not know how it starts or how it ends
we just have plenty of things to talk, to do in the middle of the night
Well as usual i slept during exam
Hack care, as long as i get to see her
i will be contended
days past, months past
I can comfirm my feelings
that i have fallen in love with Yumiko
How i longed to confess
but i know i can't
because i am still attach with Yuki
My girlfriend whom we have been together for 1 years plus
I long to break up the relationship
but, can't Yuki would threaten to commit suicide
I wouldn't want to hurt her too,
she was still the one that i once loved
so i don't bare to hurt her too.
Pondering with thoughts i still go for it,
that is to tell Yumiko how i feel
I don't know what my answer will be
but just hope for the best and prepare for the worst
she answer my question "How do you feel about me"
few days later
She did have feelings for me
This made me want to end my past relationship
Firm about it,
but yet the threatening never stops
so this on and off thing last for 2 and a half years
Things changes drastically during this 2 and a half years
I went Ngee Ann polytechnic
while Yuki quit school and went for a full time job
but for this 2 and a half years we never stopped contacting
Though sometimes we did stop
but not for long
In the middle i remembered
Yumiko told me she did for have feeling for me already
At that point of time,
i typically broke down
tears filled my eyes
nothing can stop the tears from flowing
just like the tap which flows out unlimited water
this is how i felt at that time.
But i can't be selfish,
i know it's been so long and nothing have happen
we are still on square one
not even move a single step forward
I tried to let go,
but i fall even harder
Though first love is the hardest to forget but
in the middle when you really met someone you love
the 3rd or 4th or even 5th person that you love may be the hardest to let go
I tried to forget,
i tried to let go
i even tried to love again
but to no avail
Can't means can't
no point forcing
i still loves Yumiko
Finally Yuki came to her senses
let me go
but it's too late
everything have been too late
didn't cherish when i have
too late to regret
Yumiko has got her special someone...
....To be continue Part 3
on 1:38 PM
Sunday, July 26, 2009
What is "Forbbiden love"?
Something that restrict you to start the love?
How does your heart feel, when you yearn for something yet you could not get it?
And how does it feel, when someone love you
yet you could not accept their love even you love them?
How does it feel?
This is my story, my life, my profile.
I'm pengz
16 going 17, currently working part time at starbucks
Somewhere deep in my heart there are tonnes of unspoken feeling
there is this special someone that i know through friends
somehow, we got along kinda well through messaging
Just like normal people we share our problems
we talk cock, sing song play Mahjong
Share feeling,
the more we share somehow it developed feelings
at first i did not know just felt it's a must to message her
at least, one message i can be contended
but the feeling got stronger that i would missed her so much
oh ya, after starting my story i haven't introduce her.
Her name was Yumiko.
she was older then me studying same school, but retain
Why do i have that weird feeling?
...To be continue Part2
on 9:17 PM
Would you believe that,
there is always that special someone that is you will eventually find one day?
Do you believe in fate?
That when you once lost contact,
with the person and you 2 would be a total strangers?
or
would you believe in something like destiny?
whereby on one fine day,
unknowingly a stranger message you
and you 2 become friend?
Isn't all these irony?
what if one day it happened to you?
How would you react?
And what kind of things would happen ahead?
Would that be your fate/destiny?
...To be continue Part 1
on 10:40 AM